Breaking Me And Repairing My Soul
by 46captain46
Summary: Alec has been pushing Magnus away and it gets bad. But sometimes he listens to his heart's flatters... (I didn't take into consideration the two last episodes...)
Soo, hey guys! I thought of writing some more Malec (longer this time) and this came out! I may have messed up the episodes a bit but there's no major damage. A huge thank you to my beta ForeverShippingJohnlock and my beautiful friend MyLovelyMarauder for always being there for me!

Disclaimer: Yeah...no, I don't own them...but wouldn't I love to...

Now! Off with the story!

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"That's why I proposed to Lydia."

Magnus felt his careless and confident façade fade upon looking at the other's shining blue orbs. Alec's words were like knives mercilessly piercing his heart. He couldn't believe he had done it again. He couldn't believe he had entrusted his heart to the Shadowhunter. He should have known really. He should have expected it. All there ever was for him was heartbreak and emotionless masks.

He felt his heart cracking, blood dripping from the useless organ. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not again. Not so fast. And it definitely wasn't supposed to hurt this much. His eyes were starting to sting but he downright refused to let the tears fall. Not now. Not in front of him. That didn't stop his voice from breaking though, or his eyes from becoming desperate.

He watched as the other told him about how much of a 'solid partnership' this wedding would be. Like he was trying to make him understand. Like he was trying to convince himself.

Without meaning to he let out a humorless laugh, his resolve breaking even more. As if Alec hadn't destroyed all his defenses, all his walls from the very start.

"A solid partnership. That's _hot_." He could feel the tears beginning to trickle down, almost escaping his eyes, but with a flick of his wrist his eyes were once more dry. As dry as they could be anyway. The bleeding of his heart couldn't be healed with magic and a snap of his fingers.

He was not going to show any more weakness. He had already opened his heart to Alec enough, exposing himself to the young man in front of him. Besides, if even one tear managed to escape, he knew he would break down right then and there, something he couldn't afford to do.

With a rushed goodbye and a heavy heart, he left the corridor, stopping for a moment as he hoped against hope that Alec wouldn't let him go so easily. When he saw no stunning blues, his own cat-like eyes started watering again.

He sloppily made a portal to his apartment, disappearing without any trace left behind. Maybe only the broken look on the young Lightwood's face, but he didn't stay long enough to witness that.

Once he was inside his apartment he collapsed to his knees, hands trembling, his whole body shaking. He didn't even try to fight the sobs that were reaping his body. Not anymore. There was no use anyway. No one was there to see. No one was there to comfort him, to take the pain away. _Alec_ wasn't there.

He had never felt like that in his whole existence. And Magnus Bane had lived through _a whole lot._ Yes, he had loved and he had lost but nothing had ever felt quite like this. It felt like his heart was finally shattered, or maybe absent, creating a hole in his chest.

"Damn you, Alexander. What have you done to me?" the words were barely whispered but they still left him gasping for air. And there was no mistaking the sharp intake of breath he heard behind him upon uttering them.

He didn't know how he didn't hear or see Alec following him but there stood the Shadowhunter, a pleading look on his face. To say he was surprised was an understatement.

"How- What... Why are you here?" The High Warlock of Brooklyn stuttering. Now _that_ was definitely new.

The Shadowhunter kneeled in front of Magnus, expression open for him to see, heart laid bare.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. All I ever wanted was for my parents to be proud. For them to actually acknowledge that all my life I did everything they ever asked me to." His eyes had started stinging, the words difficult to get out. "All I ever wanted was for them to look at me the way they look at Jace, for them to realize that I'm trying so hard to follow their orders. Trying so hard to please them and not myself."

He was crying now, not being able to hide the way he felt anymore. Years and years of suppressed feelings were finally out in the open. Magnus hadn't uttered a word, knowing how desperately Alec needed to get these words out. He just pulled the other towards him, offering his arms as shelter. Alec leaned in, hesitantly putting his arms around Magnus' waist. He was secretly grateful for the gesture. Magnus' support was something he needed right now. He placed his head on the warlock's shoulder, his hands tightening his grip on his waist.

The salty tears were rolling down his face, dampening the fabric, but Magnus didn't seem to care. Instead, he put a hand on Alec's back, drawing soothing circles and the Shadowhunter found himself relaxing under the warlock's touch.

"Maybe it's selfish. Maybe _Ι_ am selfish. But for once I want to follow my heart. And honestly, I don't care what they might say."

Magnus' eyes widened, surprise evident on his perfectly sculpted face. Alec looked at him, honest and earnest, a tiny smile starting to form on his lips. "So I'm following it. And it seems to like you one hell of a lot." That got a small laugh out of Magnus who still had tears staining his cheeks and a bright smile decorating his lips. Alec placed his hand gently on the warlock's cheek, using his thumb to wipe the moisture from Magnus' eyes. Said warlock leaned into the Shadowhunter's hand, eyes never leaving the other's.

Giving in to the urge, Alec leaned closer to Magnus' face, lips ghosting upon the warlock's, as if afraid the other was going to refuse. In a blink of an eye Magnus' lips were touching his, gentle yet fierce, soft yet so addicting. Magnus' lips tasted like heaven, and if you asked Alec later what exactly they tasted like that made them so heavenly, he would tell you that they had something so undeniably Magnus that it made him feel like a drowning man taking his first breaths.

The kiss was slow and sweet, neither of them rushing, both taking their time to map each other's mouths. Alec moved his other hand to grip Magnus' waist, pulling him closer, securing him into his embrace. The other circled his hand around Alec's neck, drawing the Shadowhunter even closer to him, both desperate not to lose this moment, begging for time to stop, to let them have this one moment of bliss.

Breaking the kiss, they slowly opened their eyes, content smiles starting to form on their faces.

"I'm sorry for everything. I promise not to hurt you again." Magnus smiled and pecked Alec's lips once more.

"And for the record, I _would_ give up my life for you."

And Magnus kissed him again, love and adoration radiating off him.

And Alec was content. There, inside Magnus' arms, for the first time in his life he was _happy_. For the first time in his life someone made him feel good. _Magnus_ made him feel good. And he was forever grateful.

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Sooo, that's it guys! I hope you liked it and reviews are always welcomed and you know I love them.

Byeeee

46captain46


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